Mr. Hebdo sat on my head and wouldn’t stop pulling my beard,
How could I hold to my lovely distraction when dealing with something so weird?
Mr. Hebdo laughs like an imp who spills all the drinks on the floor,
Ruining carpets and taking a toll on my sanity just like a bore.
Mr. Hebdo, why do you make my life such such a notable pain?
How can you live with yourself when it’s all you can do just to drive me insane?
Mr. Hebdo patted my back and brought me back down to the Earth,
Bade me to look out the window to see all the neighbors inflated with worth,
Mr. Hebdo gave me a wedgie only to help me to see,
How that we need to be brought down a peg, and he whispered “Je suis Charlie.”